a first step
Which thread are you holding?
Most people stuck before, during, and after separation are trying to resolve a feeling with the wrong tool. Seven questions, one optional, to find out which one you are actually in, and what it needs. You can run this on the separation as a whole, or on one specific piece of it, and come back as often as different pieces flare.
This is a self-reflection tool, not therapy, diagnosis, or legal advice. It is about your own nervous system, not about labelling anyone else. If you are in crisis or at risk, please reach out to a professional or a person you trust.
Privacy: your answers and result are stored anonymously, for internal use only, so we can improve this check and the support behind it. Emails, phone numbers, links and postcodes are automatically removed from anything you type in the situation box before storage; please use initials rather than names. Nothing is ever linked to your name or IP address.
One exception, and it is yours to choose: emailing yourself a copy. Everything above holds right up until you ask for that. If you do ask, that step is not anonymous. Your address goes to our email provider so the message can be delivered, and normal delivery records apply at their end. We do not store your address, and we never join it to your answers, but we cannot make that one step as private as the rest of the page. Print or save as PDF if you would rather it stayed fully anonymous.
Privacy: your answers and result are stored anonymously, for internal use only, so we can improve this check and the support behind it. Emails, phone numbers, links and postcodes are automatically removed from anything you type in the situation box before storage; please use initials rather than names. Nothing is ever linked to your name or IP address.
One exception, and it is yours to choose: emailing yourself a copy. Everything above holds right up until you ask for that. If you do ask, that step is not anonymous. Your address goes to our email provider so the message can be delivered, and normal delivery records apply at their end. We do not store your address, and we never join it to your answers, but we cannot make that one step as private as the rest of the page. Print or save as PDF if you would rather it stayed fully anonymous.